Some things last a lifetime

Our moment's gone.

Bikes Rock!

"Every car a murder, every bicycle a love affair"

Sometimes...Isolation

sometimes, i just wanna be alone. no, i'm not mad. i'm not sad and i don't need/ want cheering up. oh and is it really necessary to say, "come on don't be a party pooper. we were busy today too" or ask "what's the matter? waht can i do to make it better". nothing is the matter except i am feeling and wanna be antisocial. nothing personal against you unless you keep insisting and make me make it about you.

i work a lot and have to deal with hearing lots of fucked up things and trying to help people cope with that in a world that seems less and less friendly is hard. It wears on me and sometimes my brain just wants to be numb. i wanna be tofu just sitting there bland, boring and opinionless.

i don't wanna talk. shut up your voice is poking at my raw nerves. i don't wanna play nice nice and i certainly don't wanna be drawn outta myself. just leave me alone and go on with your day. sometimes i wanna be asked, but not so you can solve anything just because (sometimes) it's just nice to be asked. other times, stay away.

it's ok to be ornery. it's fine to be pensive and quiet. it's normal. i've never signed any contract that promises that i'll be 100% miss sugar dumpling all the time. and please, don't tell me that i am even better when i am in a foul mood...that i am a riot because sometimes i am quite funny when i am in a funk. in fact, i make a point of being grumpily funny, but this is not one of those times.

i just wanna be a bitch and not be told to snap out of it nor be told that everything will be better tomorrow. everything is just fine today. i just don't feel like being leader of the outgoing wagon today.

yes, i am having an i don't like green eggs and ham day and i don't wanna be reminded that maybe i do. i just wanna be alone until i bounce back to my miss everyone likes me because i am so cool ole self.

i don't need/want you to save me. today, i don't wanna save the world. altho someone really should, but today that someone ain't gonna be me.

Nothing to look at here, folks. Move along.

It's a bird. It's a plane! No, it's grouchy.

This sucks a big fat goat's ass or a big fat goat ass whichever you prefer. As of late, I am the reigning queen of stuck at the airport. In December, the Colorado snowstorms stranded me in Chicago for 3 days. Today, I am in Atlanta's suck ass airport, Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport (what kind of name is that?! Could they not decide between H-J and AIA and they just decided to lump it all into one name?!).

On their web page they boast that they are "the world’s busiest passenger airport" and they aim "to be the world's best airport by exceeding customer expectations!" I HATE H-JAIA! It looks like it's been recently remodeled on a low budget. Everything is shiny, but it looks like it came from a flashback version of the airport.

Somewhere some obnoxious siren is wailing bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeengbleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen and has been for 15 minutes. Barely audible over that, all kinds of 80s music (which is the highlight of my night) and a lady announcing in a monotone, "passengers, we were unable to locate any extra blankets, so there are no extra blankets, but if you'd like, you can walk down to the opposite end of the terminal where the temperature is about 10 degrees warmer and you can hang out there." WTFFFFFFFFFFFF?!

I am going to go insane! I am going to rip hair out of my nearest neighbors fuzzy teddy bear and slam it in her mother's starbucks!!

My flight leaving Denver was delayed 2 1/2 hours because it was raining bucket loads here in beautiful Ahht-laynta honey. My connecting flight was supposed to be delayed two hours giving me plenty of time to make it, but as I step off the plane with a sinking feeling, I confirm that my flight to Philly left 14 minutes before we arrived. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! and double that and shit, add chocolate chips and whipped cream to it because if I'm gonna be screwed might as well make it tasty.

Me and 400 of my closest strangers are here waiting on delayed flights or trying to "make the best of it". Everywhere, babies and small sticky children are crying. The chick next to me is having a crying fit and throwing her phone and (sweet the fucking siren stopped!) yelling really loudly about it not working. Hmm, someone should tell her that throwing it against the floor, will make it work less.

I am rescheduled to leave at 7 am. "Since so many flights were canceled due to the storm, all the hotels are sold out, but here's an overnight kit with a toothbrush and comb for you and it has a little thing of toothpaste,"...the perky customer service receptionist informed me. "At least your flight is soon and the chairs aren't too bad," she flashes me a 500 kilowatt smile.

What?! Bitch, don't make me pull out your extensions because I will hurt you! Easy for her to say. She is sitting in a nice office chair and has on fresh makeup and clean clothes. By the time I get to my sister's, I will have been wearing the same clothes for 24 hours. I smell like a pickle. My hair looks like Ronald McDonald (except it's not fire engine red). I am hungry and twizzler bites and warm saliva (my own) do not cut it. The water fountain is broken and no, the fucking chairs are not comfortable and the flight that is "soon" is not for 8 fucking hours!!!

I paid $8 for 24 hr Internet access because I figure that at least I can entertain myself somehow. I am trying to ignore the guy that thinks just because we were neighbors on the flight from Denver (he spilled soda on my leg) and in the 45 minute wait customer service line, we are now best friends forever.

The guy sitting behind me just farted in his sleep and someone in the corner has drool leaking from her mouth forming a puddle on the floor. ARGH! I am definitely not sleeping now and if I were less tired, it would give me a moment of amusement, but I am beyond laughing at other's bodily functions right now. Although, if someone would just walk by and slip in the huge mess of water leaking from the ceiling then I'd have to reconsider!

I hate strangers walking by and giving me a commiserating glance. I am grumpy like all hell and I just wanna go to sleep in my own bed with my cats, but I won't be there until August 13th and I start work again that day. How fun!

Hahahahaha. Well, ain't this just Georgia peachy?!

Summer Seduction

Eyes closed to blinding Sun. Face tipped upward to penetrating rays. Melt me lest Pool fulfill it's liquid promise. Sweat drips, drops, sizzles. Yoopromszzdyoodszaavvuszsszz! Rivulets evaporate. Lucky few return to Big Puddle.

Siren beckons me too. Lids closed, but barely escaping seduction. I too long for cool blue embrace. I'm a masochist. I can wait.

Teasing light blue breeze. Momentary ice rivulets on my skin. Intoxicating smell of coconut, papaya, lime. Making believe. Lounging on some foreign shore. Lazy roll over.

Belly-flopped on the ground. Washed up on the shores of a forgotten lover. Oily fingerprints, scars of my favor. Book arches its back at me. You swore 'til the end! Suffocating words helpless on the pavement.

I casually caress its spine. Still like you Book. Too many words in my throat. Pool makes me lethargic. Barely a whisper. Sun makes me sleepy. Images behind my eyes. I dream about you. You make me thirsty.

Ahhh, cold, crisp...mmm, lime, mint. Perfecting my mojito skills...not drinking, making. Crushed ice cuddles my tongue. Bubbles tickle my palate. Rum bites my lips. Mint, so refreshing. Lime, just enough tart. Yes, enough tart. Words stolen right off my page.

Sorry, short attention span.

Green metal thermos. Ice crystal shroud turns cold sweat too quickly. Puddle grows around it. Wet spot on the towel, dry as a bone. Skin sun-baked to golden perfection. Sweat filled nooks and crannies. I am a waffle. Argh, can't stand it! Not evaporating fast enough.

Darting glance thrown at Pool. Bird flitters on the surface. Water quickly regains composure. Mirror surface once again. Every pore gasps oxygen, then holds its breathe. Ssliiicsse. Through the surface. Cold and hot collide. Shatter myself. Splatter myself. Everywhere. Whole among the ripples. Extending all around.

Intense elation! I could get used to this. I could really get to liking it. Why lie?! I love this!

Media Hype

It's disgusting how the media plays on our emotions to get ratings. It enrages me that the instant that they get even the teensiest lead, they start working on ways to milk that information and spew it out at us without even having a full story.

Between 6 and 6:30 this morning, a food service employee spotted 2 men dressed in camouflage and ski masks inside of Boulder High. At that point, police were notified, the school was blocked off and a thorough search of the school began. The Boulder Valley School District sent out a message through the automated notification system (email, phone messages, text messages) to all parents.

Within 2 hours (and that's a little slow for breaking news, huh), all the major news feeds are running a story about it - showing pictures of police armed to the teeth swarming the exterior of the school, guns pointed, and students (who obviously didn't get the message that school was closed) cordoned off two blocks away.

Headlines saying things like, "Police Swarm (or surround) Boulder, Colorado School; No Shots Reported" are all over the Internet. Headlines are proclaiming,"School Closed Until Further Notice," when even BVSD has conflicting information on its homepage. The main page says classes are cancelled for the day, but the school cancellations page states that school is delayed until 10 AM.

I work in an elementary school in town so I know that the official word is that school is closed for the day and other schools are taking precautionary measures, but all the information ...misinformation out there is nothing but vague and confusing and (purposely) misleading all in the name of creating (drum roll) SUSPENSE!

Don't get me wrong, I am glad that the school district is taking precautions, but the media is taking advantage of our emotions to sell news. People argue about freedom of speech and our right to know, but to know what?! Misinformation?!

My 77 year old grandmother called me crying saying she just heard on the local news (IN PUERTO RICO!!) that two ARMED men wearing ski masks and camo had just BROKEN into AND ROBBED a school in Boulder, but that EVACUATION was underway. She was scared to death and wanted to know what was happening and if I was okay.

Two ARMED men wearing ski masks and camo have just BROKEN into and ROBBER a school in Boulder and that EVACUATION was underway - does that sound like news or sensationalism?!

The reality is that the there is no indication that these men were armed. There is no sign of forceful entry nor stolen items. The sighting had not JUST happened. It happened around 6:30 am (an hour or so before the school day starts) when few people except maybe food services staff, the head custodian and possibly a handful of staff were around. It was not just some school in Boulder. It was Boulder High. Those pictures of kids "waiting outside of Boulder High" are not evacuees rather students who had not heard that school was closed being stopped and turned back about 2 blocks away. Wow, sounds almost like a different story.

Is it necessary to put out such unclear and incorrect information?! Is it necessary for who knows how many grandmas, parents and siblings of people that work and/ or go to school in Boulder to be misled into thinking that their loved one might be in danger of dying in yet another school shooting just to so some selfish reporter could boast to have broken the news?!

Emotions are still raw from the VA Tech shootings and the 8th anniversary of the Columbine shootings, but the media is never one to pass up a good lead, right?! Besides, we all need to know, right?!

As far as I am concerned, news is important when it is correct and we do have a right to know it, but all "breaking news" that gives incorrect, vague or unconfirmed information is nothing but media hype purposely put out there to keep us biting our fingernails at the edge of our seats tuned to the news.

Is that nothing else of importance is happening in the world today or is it that we need distractions? Interestingly enough, none of the alternative nor international news feeds are carrying this story. Instead, they are taking about Blair stepping down, genocide, famine, sectarian unrest in Lebanon, overcrowding, mistreatment and lack of rehabilitation of inmates in US jails and Bush's accountability in Iraq.

Hmmmm. Does it make you wonder? It does me. Why are people elsewhere asking important questions and we are cliff hanging over two suspicious individuals that may have been burglars, pranksters or a serious threat?!

Get the news straight before scaring the wits outta everyone! Commend the district for its rapid response or principals who are proactive about dealing with school violence. But, please, do not put out misinformation in the name of getting the story out. Give sensationalism a rest and start putting out the REAL news.

And don't make my grandma (or anyone else's grandma, mother, father, sibling, friend, etc.) cry when there is no need for them to suffer in anticipation of bad news.

Carmageddon

"The automobile has not merely taken over the street, it has dissolved the living tissue of the city. Its appetite for space is absolutely insatiable; moving and parked, it devours urban land, leaving the buildings as mere islands of habitable space in a sea of dangerous and ugly traffic."

-James Marston Fitch, historic preservationist (1909-2000)