It's a bird. It's a plane! No, it's grouchy.

This sucks a big fat goat's ass or a big fat goat ass whichever you prefer. As of late, I am the reigning queen of stuck at the airport. In December, the Colorado snowstorms stranded me in Chicago for 3 days. Today, I am in Atlanta's suck ass airport, Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport (what kind of name is that?! Could they not decide between H-J and AIA and they just decided to lump it all into one name?!).

On their web page they boast that they are "the world’s busiest passenger airport" and they aim "to be the world's best airport by exceeding customer expectations!" I HATE H-JAIA! It looks like it's been recently remodeled on a low budget. Everything is shiny, but it looks like it came from a flashback version of the airport.

Somewhere some obnoxious siren is wailing bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeengbleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen and has been for 15 minutes. Barely audible over that, all kinds of 80s music (which is the highlight of my night) and a lady announcing in a monotone, "passengers, we were unable to locate any extra blankets, so there are no extra blankets, but if you'd like, you can walk down to the opposite end of the terminal where the temperature is about 10 degrees warmer and you can hang out there." WTFFFFFFFFFFFF?!

I am going to go insane! I am going to rip hair out of my nearest neighbors fuzzy teddy bear and slam it in her mother's starbucks!!

My flight leaving Denver was delayed 2 1/2 hours because it was raining bucket loads here in beautiful Ahht-laynta honey. My connecting flight was supposed to be delayed two hours giving me plenty of time to make it, but as I step off the plane with a sinking feeling, I confirm that my flight to Philly left 14 minutes before we arrived. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! and double that and shit, add chocolate chips and whipped cream to it because if I'm gonna be screwed might as well make it tasty.

Me and 400 of my closest strangers are here waiting on delayed flights or trying to "make the best of it". Everywhere, babies and small sticky children are crying. The chick next to me is having a crying fit and throwing her phone and (sweet the fucking siren stopped!) yelling really loudly about it not working. Hmm, someone should tell her that throwing it against the floor, will make it work less.

I am rescheduled to leave at 7 am. "Since so many flights were canceled due to the storm, all the hotels are sold out, but here's an overnight kit with a toothbrush and comb for you and it has a little thing of toothpaste,"...the perky customer service receptionist informed me. "At least your flight is soon and the chairs aren't too bad," she flashes me a 500 kilowatt smile.

What?! Bitch, don't make me pull out your extensions because I will hurt you! Easy for her to say. She is sitting in a nice office chair and has on fresh makeup and clean clothes. By the time I get to my sister's, I will have been wearing the same clothes for 24 hours. I smell like a pickle. My hair looks like Ronald McDonald (except it's not fire engine red). I am hungry and twizzler bites and warm saliva (my own) do not cut it. The water fountain is broken and no, the fucking chairs are not comfortable and the flight that is "soon" is not for 8 fucking hours!!!

I paid $8 for 24 hr Internet access because I figure that at least I can entertain myself somehow. I am trying to ignore the guy that thinks just because we were neighbors on the flight from Denver (he spilled soda on my leg) and in the 45 minute wait customer service line, we are now best friends forever.

The guy sitting behind me just farted in his sleep and someone in the corner has drool leaking from her mouth forming a puddle on the floor. ARGH! I am definitely not sleeping now and if I were less tired, it would give me a moment of amusement, but I am beyond laughing at other's bodily functions right now. Although, if someone would just walk by and slip in the huge mess of water leaking from the ceiling then I'd have to reconsider!

I hate strangers walking by and giving me a commiserating glance. I am grumpy like all hell and I just wanna go to sleep in my own bed with my cats, but I won't be there until August 13th and I start work again that day. How fun!

Hahahahaha. Well, ain't this just Georgia peachy?!